My first month of living at the beach is coming to a close. There have been some new developments. I've met some neighbors. Am encouraged that there are more year 'round residents than I first thought. The people I've met seem quite nice. Went to an outdoor music concert with some neighbors and had a very nice time. I really wish my sons would call, email or visit. I miss them so much. My ex husbands mother was a painter and the cottage had several of her works hanging. I have no use for them, she died years before my kids were born so they don't have an attachment to them. They belong with my ex or someone in his family. As an attempt to extend an olive branch to Bob, I gave the paintings to his brother while the and his family were vacationing up here. I hope he will disperse them to his brothers, however, I have yet to get a thank you or even an acknowledgement.
The weather up here is fascinating. One minute it's hot and sunny, then the clouds roll in and the sky darkens. Storm ensues and then as quickly as it started, it's over. Last night I awoke about 3am and even though the trees block out most of the sky, the stars sparkled through the small spaces they offered. I wanted to get up and walk to the beach to view the sky, but the body wasn't willing. Maybe tonight.
I've tried to "put myself out there" as my friends have encouraged. I noticed an open casting call for a movie being shot up here and signed up to be an extra. However when I got called I was given some lines! I have never acted, even in high school. The director, cast and crew were very nice, I was twice as old as they. The shooting took a long time, I probably stunk, and my part may not even be used in the final film but it was fun and is another step for me finding exactly who I am now.
Had a visit from the Welcome Wagon yesterday. I was surprised how much it saddened me. I've been coming up here for over 35 years with my husband, his family and my kids and only now that I am alone do I get an official welcome. The packet was full of certificates for free things, lots of dinners for 2 and tickets to entertainment venues for 2. It was all I could do to keep from crying as she sat and explained everything to me. After she left I uncorked a bottle of wine and drank it down and cried.
A new day, new hopes, I feel better. Was offered a part time job at a ladies' boutique. 3 days a week and decent pay and nice perks. I love the store's merchandise and the owner seemed very nice so I'm very excited about starting there. 3 days is perfect, enough to get some cash coming in, but also allowing me time to relax and entertain any visitors who may come.
My youngest son has said he will visit me for 5 days in August. I really hope that happens. As I've said more than once,I miss my sons so much. I have saved their phone messages on my phone so I can play them back and listen to their voices. Now that I've left Oak Park, I hope my ex has reaches out to them more. I don't think he has a clue how much they need him in their lives. When his brother and his family were up here with their 2 grown sons. Watching them interact made me so sad for my boys. There are so, so many things I would do different in my life.
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