July, 2014
Been a long time again since last post. Things going well. Dating some, job going okay. Could use some more money, but since I took early Social Security, I'm limited as to how much I can earn (bummer).
Had someone told me it would take 5-plus years to shed my old self and start over I wouldn't have believed them. Also at my age (65) that's a long time. Big regret not doing this divorce thing 10 years ago rather than trying to make a dead marriage work. I would have been more marketable in the job search arena and looked a lot better back then for the dating scene.
I wonder what I would be doing now if I never met or married Bob. What twists and turns would my life have taken? Also, had I sucked it up and stayed with him what would my life be now? How much abuse would I take and and what kind of woman would I be, and what kind of example would I set for my sons?
Speaking of my ex, I always thought he was so tall, handsome and cool. He posted a new picture on his Facebook page and, wow!, he's an old man now....and not at all attractive. I think if I met him now, I'd not give him a second look. In fact, what was really weird is that it took me a half second to recognize him. I haven't seen him face to face in 4 years and he's changed. It was like seeing a total stranger's picture. A million lifetime's ago.You know when you are in a long term relationship, you can look at your partner and see that young, handsome man he once was, the years of separation changed that, all I see is an old man.
Dating.....Last year I met a guy and fell pretty hard for him. We dated for a few months then I learned he was cheating on his girlfriend with me.. It was a devastating breakup. Caused me several months worth of depression and overeating. That on top of the crazy cold of last winter resulted in about 10lb weight gain. Last winter we had dinner together once, but I never heard back. 2 weeks ago and he's back. I was so excited to see him. We went out and then again yesterday. I had fun, but felt absolutely nothing. The time I wasted being sad about him was all for nothing. Note to self.....this won't happen again. I'll go out with him as I always have a good time, but that's it. Funny, when someone breaks your heart, something in you changes. No going back.
It's summer but hardly any warm days. In fact today I'm wearing a sweater and watching TV with a blanket wrapped around me, Don't know if I can go through another winter. We had over 70 days of below zero weather last winter. In fact not just a little below zero, more like 10 to 20 below! I live on a beautiful beach but there are so few days I enjoy it, seriously thinking about moving, but to where?
