Well, my 2-year anniversary of living alone up in Wisconsin is almost here. I originally gave myself 2 years. So what have I learned? First and foremost I am very capable and much more handy around the house than I thought. Second, I truly miss the city. I live in paradise but am strangely bored by it at times. In the city I used to love walking my dog. I loved late night walks and watching the people, the lighted homes and general hustle and bustle. Out here after sunset (which is 4pm in the winter) it's too cold and too dark to walk the dog. An occasional owl interrupts the stillness, but I used to love opening the window in the summer and listen to the train, motorcycles in the distance, the sound of voices. I love the sound of owls, woodpeckers and deer (yes, deer make noise) but all the time? There are no street lights so it's so dark I need a lantern to light my way. I've made some wonderful friends up here but it's 15 to 20 miles to visit them. Stop by the bar for a cocktail after work with friends? must be careful with the long drive home. The ones who live close, seem to retire before 9pm on weekends. I've realized to survive up here I must make an effort to return to Chicago at least once a month for my sanity or sell and move out all together (which I really don't want to do) I remember talking with several women my age who have retired up here and them telling me that they moved up here to retire but gave their husbands one condition, that they be able to go back to the city to grocery shop once a month. I used to think that was really silly ....now, not so.
So when will my life start to get easier? When will decisions get simpler? I miss having another person to bounce ideas off of. Someone with as much invested in the outcome as me.
Learned my ex has got married. Evidently over a year ago and never bothered to tell his three grown sons about it. I am so sorry this has hurt them, but maybe now they will realize he didn't just walk out on me, he left the family ...all of us.
But the really big question is when (it's been three years) will I finally let it rest and not mention him again.
