Purging my closets.  Feels good. I must have hoarder tendencies, the way I hang on to stuff.

Rustoleum "Chalked" paint.  My new favorite thing.  I turned my old, garage sale table and chairs into what I think is a pretty cool little dining set.  A little bit country, a little bit Joanna Gaines.
I like the fresh look. Stuff goes on easy and then I sanded the edges to look "aged". I didn't take a "before" pic but here is the "after".

The problem is I have lots of paint left over and a lot of dark wood furniture.  My kids have assured me they don't want any of it, so I am officially entering my White Country Cottage Era.

Well it's Spring  We were teased for 4 weeks with nice Spring weather but now it's in the 30's and yes, I saw a few snowflakes yesterday.

Getting the house ready for Spring and possibly selling.  I am ready now.

This week the local hospital is having a 2 hour long seminar for women over 60 to learn exercises on bladder control.  OMG is this what my life has degenerated to?  LOL!!

Mountain Man (aka Richard R)

Four years ago I signed up for Match.com. One of the first men I met was Mountain Man. I call him that because when he first contacted me he was out west in the mountains camping and enjoying nature with his beloved dog George.  He was so different from any man I've even met. Extremely manly, rugged, but very soft and sensitive. A poet, a dreamer. Long greying hair, earring and ability to build or create anything. He totally swept me away.

We dated only a few times but I feel like I have known him forever. I fell so hard. He moved my soul. He broke it off not too long after our meeting for reasons I wish I knew. His letters to me, his phone calls to me were so filled with tenderness and love, I am still baffled by it.

No day goes by without me thinking of him, not dwelling on him, just a passing flutter in my mind, producing a smile or a tear. Occasionally he joins me in a dream. He set the bar very high.  Every man I have dated since is compared to him, and so far they all fall so short.  He's not that tall, many would not think him all that attractive. To me he's beautiful and when he looked at me I knew he could see right into me. He lives just 90 miles away, perhaps he has moved out west to live near his older son, perhaps he has remarried. I hope he's still alive and well.

I've often thought of contacting him one more time but I just couldn't stand being rejected so I will continue to dream. I contacted him once over the past 4 years to get a reference for real estate (he was never a client, but he wrote a beautiful essay about me) ...and another time to ask a question about purchasing chain saws (lol). That's all.

How can a man that I saw only a few times have so swept in and ran away with my heart? I feel the tears welling up as I write this.  Mountain Man....I love and miss you. . . . even though you have ruined any chance for me to form a serious relationship (lol)

Afterthought:  The beauty of writing things down is it has a way of putting things in the right perspective.  Upon re-reading the above post, I realized how silly it all sounds.  I don't need him. He was in my life at a time that I needed him, and now he's out and I don't.  This is one of Oprah's "Ahaa!" moments.  Time does heal wounds. Maybe not at the speed you would prefer, but it does the job eventually.

New Year...New Start

2017...Hard to believe...Where did the time go?  Two weeks into the new year and I'm still wondering what will happen. What I need to get a handle on is for me to stop wondering what will happen and finally put on my big girl pants and make something happen. 

I had a hip replacement in July and six months later it still hurt in several places. Dr. was very sweet but I think he thought some of it was in my head. I had been trying to get an appointment for several months and the anxiety and fear that something was wrong, that I would die alone overwhelmed me. After our appointment and looking at the Xray that showed a perfect hip joint, I felt the pain leave me like sand draining out of an hour glass. Tho there was still an issue he felt needed addressing, the majority of the pain has left me. I have to admit to myself that I have to be around my family and friends in a closer setting than I am up here. I also had my hours at the store reduced to 1 day a week in the winter. Don't know how I'm going to make it, but I have a direction. Start getting this place ready for showings. At the same time to really knuckle down and get some home sales under my belt.

The month following my hip replacement, my youngest son was up here to stay. Tho he was up late and slept most of the day or was at the beach or out with his girlfriend, he was here when I needed him. I slept better than I had in months knowing someone else was in the  house. In the summer when I have overnight guests, it's the same thing. I don't want a roommate, a spouse, but I do want to live where friends are closer than 20 miles and I can walk out the door and see folks, walk to the library, to the grocery, to the show. This is what I need, the city may be dirty and have it's faults, but to be held captive alone in paradise is a poor trade.

Had a few dates in the past few weeks. They are getting so boring. Same "get to know each other" conversation. Divorced men are better than widowers tho. Men who have lost their wives usually still live in the home they did when she was alive.  The dishes, the lace curtains, the doilies, etc. all part of the tomb that he lives in. Do I really want to stay over and have sex in her old bed? Think not.

So to change myself, I would also like to change the title of this blog. Rather than A Woman's Journey Through Divorce, a snappy subtitle is needed. Plus I'm not starting over at 60 any longer, I'm 68 (YIKES!!!)  Any suggestions?