Quite a while sine I last posted. I should probably change the title to "Adventures in Loser Dating". I'm attracted to men in their late 50's but they seem to be attracted to women in their 40's while men in their 60's-70's make me feel like I'm dating my father. I don't look or feel 65 damn it and I won't settle.
Started dating a lot lately. Found a few dating sites for folks over 55. Better luck, but not by much. 2 months seems to be my relationship limit. I either break up with them or they me after that time. I don't want a relationship just to have one, and I don't want some guy with baggage. One had his granddaughter to raise, one has early Parkinson's (sorry, if that's shallow, but I don't want to be a nurse to some guy I just met) Another has issues with his daughter and parents, and is a widow. Widowers are the worst, as you can't compete with a dead wife. List goes on and on. One I just met seems like he has potential, but I say that every time. Might just take a break except I feel like time is running out. I'm 65 and look and feel better than I have in years. I feel like I'm just wasting away up here. I miss the city so much. Just can't afford it. Great friends up here, but need a bit more civilization.
As far as the divorce, I feel like my married life is a million years ago. I guess I wanted instant change and adjustment. People said it would take time, I just didn't realize how much time. Now a dear friend is going through the same thing and as I watch her struggle with the same things I did, I see how you really can't rush through the grief and separation, just takes time. Weeks go by without my thinking about my ex. I do want to be invited to a wedding or something sometime this year where I will run into him. Might be a fun adventure.
Well, the dark side of living up here in the middle of nowhere in the winter is shoveling snow. Winter storm coming through today and dumping 6 more inches on top of our already 10-15. Feel like it's been snowing for years. It has it's magical moments, though. Full moon this past week and I could walk my dog at 11pm without a flashlight. Moon shining on the snow created a pattern of light and shadow that was amazing. Fantastic!
Well, my boots are sitting by the door calling my name.
