First I would like to send out my love and encouragement to all you who have sent me such lovely, heartfelt emails. I appreciate it and wish you the best. Please feel free to write any time.

Seems like every time I take a few steps forward whether it be financially or romantically, I end up getting kicked and I'm back (or further back than) where I started.

Just when I feel I see a light at the end of the tunnel with finances, my car is acting up. It's a 2005 and over 150,000 miles.  Needs brakes and some assorted bearings and belts. All adding up to a huge expense.

Romantically, aauurgh! Date from Hell #1: His picture looked nice, he said he was a chef. I drove 50 miles to meet him for coffee. Walked in

Last night was the beautiful blood moon lunar eclipse. My neighbors all walked down to the beach and sat in the moonlight, drinking wine enjoying the beauty of the eclipse. I noticed all (but me) were couples. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time, but I was the only single there. When we parted ways, as they all walked home I could hear all the couples laughing, talking about the evening. My walk was in silence. These are the parts of my new life I never can get used to. No mater how much fun I have when I go out, the drive or walk home is lonely and quiet. The quiet can be deafening.  Coming home from a play or movie...no one to talk to about the evening.  Not horrible, just new (if you call 5 years new).

A friend mentioned to me that she found out a guy I met earlier in the summer was indeed single. I felt like I had practically thrown myself at him, but no response.  I did a little "cyber snooping" and discovered where he lives. Now what?  Drive by his house like I did when I was 16?  My luck if I did that he'd call the cops.  My next post might be looking for donations for bail money.  (haha)

September, 2015

My 67th birthday was a few weeks ago and my horoscope said I will find love and "financial reward" soon.  An old surfboard that I paid $20 for 10 years ago brought in a sweet $180 at a local consignment shop so I got a nice $90 for it. I hope that wasn't the "financial reward" they were talking about. So far I still haven't been able to catch a break in that category at all.

So far this year I've had huge bills for dental work; an increase in home owner insurance, real estate taxes, my 2005 Ford with 168,000 miles is in need of a lot of repairing as well as my 10 year old dog who is needing more and more vet care.

Last year I thought I could start selling real estate up here (like I did for 15 years in Illinois) but it's proved extremely difficult. This is a county with folks who not only have been here since grammar school and they all know each other or are related, but the diversity of real estate has proved trying to say the least. In past I never needed to know all the different types and sizes of wells, septic fields and perk tests. You have beachfront, water view, inland, agricultural, commercial, mobile homes, manufactured homes and boat slips to list and sell, not to mention condos and hotel condos. Who knew? 

Reason I'm mentioning this is it's been an up hill battle and I gave it a year. Well, a year is coming to an end and I must stop the financial bleeding. Real Estate licenses cost quite a bit to get and maintain ....just can't do it any more. So, what, I need to figure out do I do now? I had hoped to be able to quite my retail job but that won't be happening.  So now I guess I should call this blog "Starting Over Again and Again and, who knows, maybe even Again"

Dating has been interesting (as ever).  I met a guy thought was my perfect guy. Didn't lie about his height, pony tail (always have been a sucker for that look), an art teacher, musician, handsome, we had a great time.  He lives, however, 120 miles away, so it didn't last. Damn! He was (and is) perfect. However, I also met a very, nice man who may turn out to be something other than friend. Just have to get "Mr.Perfect" out of my mind.

Just saw "Walk in the Woods". It's a movie with Robert Redford and Nick Nolte. It's quite funny about 2 old guys in their 60's who think they can walk the 2,000 miles of the Appalachian Trail. Maybe I should attempt some great (at least to me) feat like that. I've already run marathons, raced motorcycles, been in a movie, even did some modeling; what is left? Nothing that involves heights or situations where the end result may result in death. Only places I really want to go are Norway, Sweden, or Iceland. Hmmm.....time to really take a look at things.

Really thought my life direction decisions were behind me and I was just going to sail along in a steady upward direction.  Again I ask, when is my ship and/or prince coming in? haha.

The "new me" likes to look on the bright side every time the world sends me shit. When I got divorced, the rug was pulled out from under me and my life was turned upside down. 5 years have gone by and I thought I was finally at the light at the end of the tunnel and now......whiisshh!!! there it goes again. Life is not stagnant or predictable. Just like when I was in my teens and twenty's, it's always a changing world. I really think this will have a positive effect on me....keep me young and sharp. (There has to be a bright side, right?)

I need to go check my lottery numbers now.