Bath 101

So, it's been probably 25 or 30 years since I took a bath.  When my ex and I were first married we lived in a little home in dire need of rehabbing.  It had one bathroom off the kitchen with no shower and only a sink, toilet and claw foot tub. Barely had room for shelving for extra towels. Baths were an every day feature. In face we would boil a pot of water on the stove and pour it into the tub to try to heat up that old cast iron tub before we filled it.

All our work rehabbing the house, the bathroom always got pushed to the bottom of the list, so we ended up living with that little bathroom until we (and our 3 young sons) moved to another home with A SHOWER!!

Part of my 2015 resolutions is to try new things. This counts. So it's 11pm Saturday nite and I decide I need a bath. . I've been going through some pretty nasty legal issues lately and just needed to Zen out some.

First I turned on the portable heater in the bathroom and shut the door for about 1/2 hour to heat up the room (and tub) nicely. But, what if I got in and then couldn't get out? This once limber body doesn't move like it used to. Would they find my body weeks later all shriveled up in the tub or would I have the nerve to actually call someone to pull me out? So first I laid my bathrobe across the toilet so if I did have to call the paramedics to get me out of the tub I could cover myself.  Next I put my wine, and the bottle, next to the tub so I could drink while I waited, and lastly my phone was in reachable range.  A couple candles, turned off the lights and the mood was set.

A hot tub, 3 drops of Aargon oil to soften the water and very slowly lowered myself in. Not so graceful the last 5 inches which caused my worry mode to set in as to whether or not I could actually get myself out.

Baths are supposed to be so relaxing.  Relax I did with the exception of that little voice in my head saying "Great, enjoy, now how the hell do we get out of this thing?"

The 3 drops of Argon oil did indeed soften the water but it also made the tub very, very slippery (a big rookie mistake?)

20 minutes and a few glasses of wine later, it was time to test my upper body strength.  Can't scootch up, no room;can't turn around and get up that way, no room; arthritic knees prohibit my pulling my feet under me.  FUCK! my worst nightmare is coming true!!

Calm down Linda.  Okay pushed to the back of the tub, pushed my self to the side of the tub hard enough to slide up and actually rest my butt on the edge of the tub. YAHOO! Stood up and stepped out very, very, very carefully as the tub was totally slippery due to that damn Aargon oil.  So I made it, Any stress released was immediately back in my body with my worrisome and difficult exit. Then I had to clean the oily dirty ring out of the tub and take a shower anyway to get all the bath water off me. So what, I ask all you bath takers, is the big deal of baths? It's just not worth risking my life and a lifetime of embarrassment ever again.  Showers forever.

See? Another annoying down side to being old and living alone.  There is always that little voice in my head worrying about accidents with no one to help. Husbands are good for that. Walk in the woods and get hit on the head by a falling branch? Slip on the ice? Fall during a late nite dog walk? or even stuck in the tub? No one there. Kinda sucks.