Why do I have such a hard time making decisions?  This has been an ongoing problem for me since the big "D".  I had to switch utility companies and I absolutely froze with fear of making the wrong decision.  I feel I obviously made a lot of poor choices over the marriage thinking they were the right ones and now I feel so damn hesitant to made another one no matter how trivial.

Been corresponding thru email with a very sweet guy for about 5 months. We went out (or rather he came over to my house and did some projects). Built stuff, fixed stuff, etc.  I fell totally head over heels for him.  He's a quirky guy, a real loner, smart, funny . . .did I say loner?  He never leaves the  house!  emails me every day but never wants to come over again.  So what if he's 2 hours away.  He drives more than that to go deer hunting.  I  feel a mix of emotions with this fellow, think he's going into that ever expanding "friend" file. That's the third guy who stopped wanting to see me after I made dinner and let him spend the night.  Do the rules of dating back when we were 16 still hold? Don't sleep with them on the first or second date?  That's not good. At this age I can't really wait and extended amount of time before "testing him out". Nor do I want to.  I haven't had sex in a long time and am horny as hell, so screw all the little high school boy thinking.  At 64 I'm on a short deadline nowadays.

Valentines Day is 2 days away.  Alone again.   Maybe I'll take my vibrator out for a romantic dinner.

Finalizing my Etsy Store.  Got some new designs completed and now just need to market it and the worst thing......NAME IT!  There is that nasty "decision" word again.